The red string of fate

There is a chinese proverb about what in western society we would call soul mates.  "there is an invisible red thread that connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place and circumstance, the thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break". I think this is a beautiful and inspiring proverb. Its quite a big thing to say you've met someone you feel tied to, like that red string suddenly went taut. Destiny is an interesting thing, but sometimes things happen we cant explain, people come into your life you feel you've just been waiting for. And the subsequent chaos that undoubtedly follows as you turn your lives upside down to be together becomes irrelevant. But how can you not? See when your are destined to be with someone, try as you might to ignore it, they will invariably end up in your life anyway. Best not to fight it. Best not to try put them out of your mind.
In greek mythology the philosopher Plato has Aristophanes, a playwright present a story on soul mates. He tells that humans originally had four arms, four legs and a single head with two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half. Condemning them to spend their entire lives searching for their other half.
But how do you know when you've found this other half? The way I see it its when the world seems to stop, everything fades away and all you see is them, and you feel them, like a low grade current running through your entire body connecting you to that person, an irresistible pull, and everything in your life up until that point you met them seems inconsequential. Call me a romantic but these are the moments in time you have to trust the universe and let your heart guide you. Because what is life without aroha?

Feeling the fear

I've just finished reading Feel the Fear and do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. One of the reason I picked up the book is I believe we are so limited by our fears. I know I am anyway; what if she/he doesn't like me - I wont call, what if I look stupid - I wont do that... There are so many reasons not to do something, to remain comfortable and secure in life. To remain dissatisfied - I believe so often we don't try because if we fail we can say oh I didn't really give that my all, thats why I failed but imagine how much more accomplished you will feel if you can say I gave that everything I've got, it didn't work out but, gosh, Im glad I tried and I learnt a lot. So there were a few things I really loved about Susan Jeffers book, one of the concepts I really liked is the no loose model; basically every time you look at a problem or choice instead of thinking of it like if I take option A I will miss out on option b you look at it like I can take option A and get this whole set of experiences, new growth and exciting things happening, if I take option B I'll have a different set of experiences, new growth and exciting things happen. Obviously this is a very simplified version of  the model but it really resounded with me. Sometimes I get so caught up with the what if's - and those what if's are so limiting, and I wonder what I would be capable if I took those what if's out and started instead to embrace my fear of a situation and do it anyway.
Another thing I really enjoyed about the book and have incorporated into my life is the "whole life" grid. So you take your life and break it up into parts - Is your whole life your kids, partner, friends, work? I hope not. But for so many of us it is a combination of just a few things and we don't dedicate enough to other things. So the whole life grid is taking the things in your life you consider important - so this could be; Relationship, work, family, learning, alone time, fitness, leisure time, housework, leisure or whatever it is for you. then you make a little goal to achieve each day. so It might go a bit like this; Relationship - tell partner your grateful for something they do for you. Work - finish proposal by 3pm. Family - call mum. Learning - Do an hour of study... anyway you go through your chart making a goal for everything and the idea is to give equal time to all aspects of your life - so should one fall apart, you have all those other things going on to play with.
There are however so many techniques in the book to help you overcome your fears. I highly recommend it, I think it will be one of those books I go back to time and time again.
Another amazing tool for fears is flower essences. Flower essences work on emotional blockages which can then manifest as a physical symptom. A few of the good ones for fears are; Karo/ Wild Oat - Uncertainty regarding life purpose, life path or career. Haketara/ Aspen - Anxiety, apprehension, foreboding and fear of unknown things. Cook Straight Groundsel/ Larch - Lacks self-confidence, feels inferior, expects failure so doesn't try. Marlbrough Rock Daisy/ Mimulus - Anxiety, apprehension and fear of known things. Hinau/ Cerato - Doubts own ability and judgment, easily influenced or misguided, constantly looks to others for direction, seeks others approval.
Flower essences can be mixed into a blend by a Naturopath or brought and taken individually. I love using flower essences for emotional upsets and have seen profound changes in people for using them. 

What I think about when Im running.

I smile when I run. There is just something about the rhythmic pounding of my feet hitting the path the wind through my hair... But I smile for the freedom, the escape from my thoughts, what a welcome relief to have a clear mind. Even when I think I cant run anymore, and the pungent green bile from deep in my stomach threatens to purge itself from my body, my legs feel like jelly and my lungs burn, I am grateful. Because when the world feels too big the isolation of pain in my body; my knees, my feet, my raggedy breath all connects me to the physical body, to myself. The shadow of another jogger at my shoulder spurs me to push myself that much harder. The beat of the music on my ipod reverberates through my body and I feel whole. I love pushing myself to keep going, like a mantra in time with my feet dont give up, dont give up, dont give up I just figure if Im going to give up on anyone, I should be giving up on everyone else before I give up on myself.
I love running outside. I love seeing the surprised look on peoples faces a I run by them grinning, and the reluctant, somewhat confused smile back. Because one of the lovely things about smiling is you cant help but smile when someone smiles at you. Its like yawning, it has this kind of follow on effect. I love the middle aged ladies in their pink tracksuits walking in little clusters, perfectly set dyed blonde hair, designer sunglasses hiding their eyes as they whisper conspiringly to each other about husbands, children and neighbors. I love the red faced puffing old men in their shorts and pulled up socks, hating every minute of their daily run, silently cursing the doctor who on discovering a weakening body coerced them into an exercise program. And I love the runners, in their fancy gear, cult like, in groups pounding the pavement in straight faced determination.
I am by no means a "runner" it is an escape, a chance to push my body beyond what I'm comfortable with, stronger lungs, tighter muscles, a powerful heart pumping blood in circles. A chance to reason with that competitive side of myself that insists on perfection - there is no perfect run. Just another chance to improve, get stronger, faster, more powerful and connect to myself. A chance to forget about the menial things permeating my mind and just feel free. So when I run I smile because I'm grateful for that freedom.